you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
