nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You were trust falling into bushes
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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