I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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