i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Randomize
