so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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