i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Use "feeling words"
Yay
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
