do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
