Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
