Sry I called you an 8
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
