i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
