What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
