Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
