Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
