Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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