And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
this is an emotional support booty call
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
