return my video game
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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