where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
