why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
is it fun? or sober?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
