K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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