Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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