My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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