I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
bring money and cleavage
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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