Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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