Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
