hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
