your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
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