3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Randomize
