legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The beers last night were like the tears from god
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
