I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
