well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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