We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
