theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
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