why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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