I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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