If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Let's paint friendship bongs
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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