I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize
