We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
