About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
