That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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