i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
