when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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