I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
So vagazzling was a success
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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