It's Friday. Sex?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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