too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
