doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just made out with a guy for $7.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
