I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
