Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize