you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
