you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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