just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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