I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
