I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Randomize
